Victory and Agony - February 10, 2007

Coach consoling and teaching wrestler who has just lost match. He's telling him he wrestled with a lot of heart and that he's proud of him.


Bear hugs and congratulations. This wrestler finally made it! He is a senior and this has been his goal for two years. He just missed out last year and this was his last chance.

Coach knows how much this means to this young man, and he is very happy for him.

Consoling wrestler who just lost his berth at State Tournament. He tried his best. He actually did very well and he will have two more years to earn his spot.


Well, Regionals are over and our local team had two young men qualify to go on to State. To qualify, one has to rank in the top four of all the contestants. We had four who ranked in the top 4; however there is another rule which did us in for two contestants: if you are the 4th ranked person and have not wrestled the person who ranked 5th, the 5th ranked person can challenge you for a wrestle-back and if they win, they take your spot at State. Both our 112-pound and our 171- pound wrestler lost their places in wrestle-backs. It was heart-breaking. They worked so hard and struggled so hard to earn that berth. The 171-pound wrestler is a senior, so he will not have another chance to try it again.

The coach is an extremely emotive man, who genuinely feels their anguish when they lose and celebrates their joy when they win. There will be an end-of-season banquet in a few weeks during which the coach will award letters or numerals to the wrestlers and he will say very nice things about each and every wrestler. He will talk about their courage and about their character, and there will be smiles and tears because each one is very special in his own way.

I'm both glad and sad I won't be going to this year's banquet. I've been to eight now - four with each of my sons, and I remember the words even now, and they still can make me cry.

My oldest son struggled in wrestling. I had no clue why he chose to stay with this sport. He wasn't very good when he was younger, he had to cut a lot of weight, and he seemed to have little chance of making varsity during his younger years. What he did have was a desire to learn, and a drive to excel which he hadn't really shown in many other areas of his life. He got better and better. He made the varsity team his junior year. He wasn't the best on the team, but he never, ever gave up in a match. He beat a state ranked opponent (by pin) his junior year, and was one of only two or three matches that young man lost.

His senior year, he came into his own. He was wrestling very well, and won all of his matches before Christmas - most of them by pinfall and was charging forward toward his personal goal of placing at State. However, right after New Year's, he caught the flu and was sick. He wrestled a home match sick - against my wishes - and was being slammed around like a fish out of water. It was like he had no strength at all. I had a hard time watching. All of a sudden, he seemed to dig deep inside and he grabbed the other kid by the head and flipped him and pinned him. When the referee raised his arm to signal victory, his knees buckled and the ref and coach had to help him off the mat. He had literally given every ounce he had to give. How many people can say they have ever given everything for anything?

A few days later he was wrestling for the championship of the South Tournament and was picked up and slammed to the mat. We heard an indescribable sound from across the gym, and my husband turned to me and said, "I think he broke his arm." I couldn't believe it. It wasn't fair - not after he had overcome so much and was so close to achieving his goal.

We raced over to him and he was on his back cradling his arm and crying - not entirely from pain, but from frustration, and I can hear him still... "Tape it up coach, I can go back in. Tape it up, I'm fine. Don't forfeit. Tape it up!"

Of course we did not. The coach kept telling him he needed to go to the hospital. They helped us get him to the car and the coach, with tears in his eyes, kept promising him we'd do everything we could.

He had what is called a "nightstick" fracture of his left forearm. It's an impact fracture which fissures the bone in all directions. He was lucky because nothing was displaced, and they were able to cast it fairly quickly. His friends brought his medal to the hospital, and tried to be as reassuring as possible, but we knew that wrestling was probably over for him.

He did get the cast off just before Regionals and did wrestle because the coach said he had earned his place on the team; but he had very little strength in that arm and wasn't able to place. However, the determination he showed then still shows up today and he knows that he does have the power to go after what he wants.

He will graduate in May with a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology, and his goal is to go on for his Doctorate. I think he will make that and I think the lessons he learned in wrestling will help him to get there.

(As you might guess, he's one of my heroes)